Hello all you curious people out there that have stumbled onto this website and are wondering "how in the world can you call yourself a pessimistic optimist?" Well, it's mostly because I can and no one can stop me. So there. If you were to define it the better term might be a realist; since I am always hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.
My life has been a very strange journey but not one that is all that unique anymore. I went to college and then struggled to find a decent first job. Got my first job only to find them go bankrupt after 2 years and then look for a comparable job for another 2 years. During that time I have worked to make ends meet and figure out what to do with my life. It's a pretty common story now. But what's a little less common is the fact that I stumbled into this amazing sport called roller derby and fell in love with it.
Roller derby is a full contact roller sport played on a track where 2 teams field skaters that are simultaneously playing offense and defense at the same time. Each team is trying to help their jammer (the point scorer) to get through the pack (group of skaters) because each opposing team member she passes is a point but they are also trying to keep the opposing jammer behind them so they aren't points themselves. Have I confused you enough yet?
This sport is challenging mentally and physically when you add in the fact that you can body check or be body checked at any moment while skating. Joining this sport reinvigorated me. It pushed me to work harder, fight longer, and basically not to give up on myself. This idea has definitely translated into other aspects of my life and I am truly grateful.
So when my first severe injury happened in May 2011 it was crushing. At a practice I tried to overcompensate my balance in a fall and ended up breaking my fibula and tearing my ankle's interior ligament clean off. I immediately was in surgery and spent the rest of the year in rehabilitation trying to get better so that I could be cleared to return in 2012. I made that goal and came back a bit nervous but soon was skating better than before. You know, some people can go their entire derby career without any major injuries. Apparently I am not one of those people.
In February of 2013 I suffered my next major injury. During a drill I did a sharp turn and leaned back a little too far and tore my ACL (a ligament in the knee). I collapsed immediately and then spent the rest of the month visiting the doctors office to figure out what I needed to do to get back to playing. Here's the thing about roller derby and doctors, sometimes they just don't understand what you are putting your body through and will give you advice that they wouldn't give to someone else that plays a comparable sport like football or soccer. And here's the thing about roller derby and skaters, if you tell us we can get back out there in a month we are not going to question it even though we have doubts in the back of our mind.
So in a little over a month, with a new fancy knee brace, I was back out there skating with my team. Sure I couldn't do some of the things that are pretty basic movement in the sport, but I could find ways to adapt... right? Well this delusional assumption worked for me until this past November when I ended up at the bottom of a dogpile with a sprained elbow, a severely upset knee, and a nice little hairline fracture in my heel.
This time the doctors knew me better. They put me in a cast and made me wait it out for 2 whole months before even considering to let me put my skates back on. During that time away from my derby love I was able to think a little bit more clearly about what I was doing to my body and the danger I was putting myself in by playing a sport when I wasn't at full strength. That was the moment I made a plan to make 2014 the "get better" year. I am going to listen to my body and address all these issues I've been having and get them taken care of so that in 2015 I can return to roller derby and get back on track with conquering the world.
So if you have made it this far and are still interested in what I have to say, just know I will be chronicling my experiences with my health throughout the year. All of the injuries I have neglected, the rehabilitation needed, my connection to roller derby while I'm not playing, and any other random unexpected journeys that occur along the way. It's definitely going to be an interesting year... hopefully also an inspiring one.
